This may be a very long post, and if you get tired of reading it, I am so sorry. I always tend to ramble, even now, I don't need to give you this extra information but I am. It just takes me so long to make a point.
Anyway, certain things have been bothering me a lot lately; mostly revolving around my cousin and her boyfriend. I have nothing personal against my cousin. I love her so much, we have fun together and we're pretty close (plus you know, maybe the fact that we're roomies). But once the boyfriend comes into play, that's when things begin to irritate me. So let's make up names for the sake of privacy.
My cousins name is Vicky and her boyfriends name is Jordan. They have been dating since the beginning of May and it is now the beginning of December, which makes that 7 months. 7 months is generally a reasonable amount of time to have had been dating someone. You're past the 2 month mark which is generally when you stop feeling awkward around each other, and your insecurities begin to disappear. You're also past the half a year mark, which shows that you both really like each other, and as I would assume, know a decent amount about each other.
Most of this is true for Vicky and Jordan. They both like each other very much, for various reasons. The question at stake here, is are they in love?
Are they in love?
Being in love with someone is a personal feeling and emotion. You cannot be told by an outside force/viewer/person whether or not you are in love. This includes your friends, your siblings, even your wise, wise mother. No one can ever tell you how to feel, even if it's not regarding love. You are you, you feel the way you feel.
However, there is a problem here. Many young people, and old people too get confused with love, in love and infatuations. No person who thinks that they are 'in love' wants to hear from their dad "son you are not in love, I know you and you do not love that girl. She's a big waste of your time and all she wants from you is this an that", blah blah blah. Of course not, it's just plain simple. When you truly think you're in love you're stubborn. You straight up don't wanna hear anything opposing your feeling.
Now, what the hell is my right to be saying all of this? Yes, I'm young, but age is not key component in this matter. It's not about how old or young you are, but it's about your experiences. And I will tell you right now, I am not a stupid fucking little girl. I think for myself, and it takes a lot for someone to have an impact on my thoughts. Therefore, I am not manipulated very easily.
So let's introduce you to my background. I have made mistakes in my life, a few things that I regret. But, I am NOT ashamed about my past. Everything that I have experienced in my life I have learned from.
So here it all begins. Just about 4 years ago, I was in my freshman year of high school. I never had a boyfriend; throughout middle school my friends were dating (as well as everyone else I knew). I felt left out, I felt a bit depressed at times. I thought, 'How come no one likes me? How come none of the boys wanted to date me?'.
I did have crushes on a few boys, but I wasn't boy crazy. Not to mention the fact that I was forbidden by my father to date boys until I was 18. So rather, I spent my time focusing on friends and my grades in school.
So I began high school, and long story short, I met Jake in ski club. I liked him, and for once he liked me too. So after a month of talking and being friends we finally started dating. Ultimately I thought nothing of it. Oh cool, I have a boyfriend, now what? But months after months we grew closer. 4 months into our relationship, my parents separated and I moved about 150 miles away to Salisbury, MD.
Together as a couple we decided that we would still try dating each other. We, as one would say 'loved' each other. It was so hard not being able to see each other in school or hang out, but we managed to visit each other.
So 5 or 6 months into our relationship, I really thought I loved him. I thought he was the one I was going to marry someday. I knew for a fact that I was in love with him and that we would spend the rest of our lives together no matter how many times we fought or argued. So, I lost my virginity to him, thinking it was the right thing to do. Whoosh, right out the window! Something I could never ever get back
Now let's compare this situation to Vicky's. She, as I did, lost her virginity to Jordan. The man she 'knows for a fact' that she's going to marry. But rather than 6 months in, it was 3 months.
So this couple is moving a little faster, wouldn't you say?
So back to my situation and experiences with Jake. After losing my virginity, time went on. We dated until the end of that year, fell more in love, saw each other a little bit more. Finally, February rolled around and we celebrated our one year anniversary together by snowboarding at ski liberty, where we met and began dating. Things seem to be going well, and they were. Then we began fighting more often. I was very jealous and so was he. I was never allowed to hang out with my friends that were guys and when I did he got very protective and mad. I would also get mad when he would hang out with girls. Especially the girls that he dated before dating me. I would always get mad at him when he was playing video games and didn't call me. it was stupid petty stuff.
So as time went on, summer approached. The fighting continued but we were still 'in love'. But, for some reason, I had a lack of trust in him. Perhaps because he was surrounded by girls at his new job, serving at Genovas? Maybe because he started going out more. Not to mention the fact theat the bickering and arguing was STILL going on.
Summer came and went and after dating a year and a half he dumped me. It started off as a break from each other, that was supposed to last a week. At the end of that week, when I thoguht we were getting back together jake went to a party and met a girl who he made out with and grided with on a bed alone. he probably would have fucked her if he could have. Since then he's messed around with one of his x girlfriends, he's met various people via stickam from random states and he's met up with them, he met a girl from Virginia and stayed at her fucking house. Doesn't sound like I'm that furious does it, but oh I was. So after breaking up I didn't talk to him for 3 months. I deleted him from facebook, myspace, aim, my contacts list in my phone. Anything that I could do to completely cut off communication. After the 3 months we tried being friends. it was too hard for me though; I loved him. I continued having sex with him for A YEAR after being broken up, thinkinkg maybe he'd take me back. It's not worth it girls! Guys are seriously fucked up, and it will take you ice ages to meet a decent guy.
So blah blah whatever, that was my relationship. And now I feel so stupid to have thought that I was in love with him. My mom tried telling me, my older sister, but I was naive and I didn't want to listen.
I have grown up a lot since my freshman year. I know what's real and what's not real. Now it's time to get back to Vicky and Jordan.
So they both think they're in love, and i can tell you that they are not. I would never tell that to their faces, because I know that neither of them will listen to me and nothing productive will come of it. But that's why I'm blogging about it, so that when they break up one day I can show this to Vicky.
Why don't I think they make a good couple?
Well first of all, I think there is a slight possibility that Jordan could love Vicky. Vicky is a very, very good girlfriend. She would do anything for Jordan. But I do not think that Vicky is in love with Jordan. Previous to dating Jordan, Vicky dated 2 other guys. Both relationships lasted less than 3 months. All of her relationships are within the spand of one year. She never dated boys in high school.
So it would be correct to assume she does not have very much experience dating boys.
But that's not even the point of this blog. The main point of this is to mention the reasons I don't think they make a good couple.
This is why...
Jordan is too protective and insecure. He doesn't let Vicky have fun with her life, yet he manipulates her into thinking that she doesn't need the things she used to.
For example, upon beginning college Vicky began to drink alcohol. Not a lot, just socially. She had fun going out and drinking with her friends. In the meantime she wasn't doing well in school. The two can very well be linked together, but I go out on weekends and I am doing very well in my first semester of college. So I tend to think that the bad grades could have been prevented while still maintaining a social life.
Jordan is a police cadet, and he is very manipulative. He follows the rules and laws and he's a goody two shoes. So now he's in the picture and he doesn't want Vicky going out to parties anymore. He doesn't want her participating in underage drinking.
Ok, so be it? Very good point, underage drinking is illegal and if you wish not to participate then fine, you're not forced to.
Vicky stopped drinking and going out. That's not a problem at all in my eyes. If she doesn't want to then she doesn't have to. But did she stop for the right reasons?
The answer to that, no. upon questioning her she will tell you that she doesn't go to parties or drink anymore because she was failing college, she wasn't getting good grades and that she doesn't need to drink alcohol to have a good time.
Very true, good point, but you're a fucking liar and yes I'm calling you out. You can blame it on whatever you want to but I know you. You enjoyed going out and having a fun time, you liked seeing your friends. Even if you didn't drink you would still go out just to have a good time. So don't blame it on something it's not, I know Jordan is the reason you don't go out.
Even now when I try to invite Vicky out to parties, I inform her that there will be no pressure to drink alcohol and that it would just be nice if she came along. But instead she'd rather stay at the dorm and wait for Jordan to get of work. It pisses me the fuck off.
Another example. I want to go to Bourbon Street, which is a club in Baltimore, with my other cousin Kelly and Vicky. Vicky won't go though because...
dun dun dun
Jordan doesn't like it when she goes to clubs where other guys will want to dance with her.
Grow the fuck up.
TO BE CONTINUED...
Anyway, certain things have been bothering me a lot lately; mostly revolving around my cousin and her boyfriend. I have nothing personal against my cousin. I love her so much, we have fun together and we're pretty close (plus you know, maybe the fact that we're roomies). But once the boyfriend comes into play, that's when things begin to irritate me. So let's make up names for the sake of privacy.
My cousins name is Vicky and her boyfriends name is Jordan. They have been dating since the beginning of May and it is now the beginning of December, which makes that 7 months. 7 months is generally a reasonable amount of time to have had been dating someone. You're past the 2 month mark which is generally when you stop feeling awkward around each other, and your insecurities begin to disappear. You're also past the half a year mark, which shows that you both really like each other, and as I would assume, know a decent amount about each other.
Most of this is true for Vicky and Jordan. They both like each other very much, for various reasons. The question at stake here, is are they in love?
Are they in love?
Being in love with someone is a personal feeling and emotion. You cannot be told by an outside force/viewer/person whether or not you are in love. This includes your friends, your siblings, even your wise, wise mother. No one can ever tell you how to feel, even if it's not regarding love. You are you, you feel the way you feel.
However, there is a problem here. Many young people, and old people too get confused with love, in love and infatuations. No person who thinks that they are 'in love' wants to hear from their dad "son you are not in love, I know you and you do not love that girl. She's a big waste of your time and all she wants from you is this an that", blah blah blah. Of course not, it's just plain simple. When you truly think you're in love you're stubborn. You straight up don't wanna hear anything opposing your feeling.
Now, what the hell is my right to be saying all of this? Yes, I'm young, but age is not key component in this matter. It's not about how old or young you are, but it's about your experiences. And I will tell you right now, I am not a stupid fucking little girl. I think for myself, and it takes a lot for someone to have an impact on my thoughts. Therefore, I am not manipulated very easily.
So let's introduce you to my background. I have made mistakes in my life, a few things that I regret. But, I am NOT ashamed about my past. Everything that I have experienced in my life I have learned from.
So here it all begins. Just about 4 years ago, I was in my freshman year of high school. I never had a boyfriend; throughout middle school my friends were dating (as well as everyone else I knew). I felt left out, I felt a bit depressed at times. I thought, 'How come no one likes me? How come none of the boys wanted to date me?'.
I did have crushes on a few boys, but I wasn't boy crazy. Not to mention the fact that I was forbidden by my father to date boys until I was 18. So rather, I spent my time focusing on friends and my grades in school.
So I began high school, and long story short, I met Jake in ski club. I liked him, and for once he liked me too. So after a month of talking and being friends we finally started dating. Ultimately I thought nothing of it. Oh cool, I have a boyfriend, now what? But months after months we grew closer. 4 months into our relationship, my parents separated and I moved about 150 miles away to Salisbury, MD.
Together as a couple we decided that we would still try dating each other. We, as one would say 'loved' each other. It was so hard not being able to see each other in school or hang out, but we managed to visit each other.
So 5 or 6 months into our relationship, I really thought I loved him. I thought he was the one I was going to marry someday. I knew for a fact that I was in love with him and that we would spend the rest of our lives together no matter how many times we fought or argued. So, I lost my virginity to him, thinking it was the right thing to do. Whoosh, right out the window! Something I could never ever get back
Now let's compare this situation to Vicky's. She, as I did, lost her virginity to Jordan. The man she 'knows for a fact' that she's going to marry. But rather than 6 months in, it was 3 months.
So this couple is moving a little faster, wouldn't you say?
So back to my situation and experiences with Jake. After losing my virginity, time went on. We dated until the end of that year, fell more in love, saw each other a little bit more. Finally, February rolled around and we celebrated our one year anniversary together by snowboarding at ski liberty, where we met and began dating. Things seem to be going well, and they were. Then we began fighting more often. I was very jealous and so was he. I was never allowed to hang out with my friends that were guys and when I did he got very protective and mad. I would also get mad when he would hang out with girls. Especially the girls that he dated before dating me. I would always get mad at him when he was playing video games and didn't call me. it was stupid petty stuff.
So as time went on, summer approached. The fighting continued but we were still 'in love'. But, for some reason, I had a lack of trust in him. Perhaps because he was surrounded by girls at his new job, serving at Genovas? Maybe because he started going out more. Not to mention the fact theat the bickering and arguing was STILL going on.
Summer came and went and after dating a year and a half he dumped me. It started off as a break from each other, that was supposed to last a week. At the end of that week, when I thoguht we were getting back together jake went to a party and met a girl who he made out with and grided with on a bed alone. he probably would have fucked her if he could have. Since then he's messed around with one of his x girlfriends, he's met various people via stickam from random states and he's met up with them, he met a girl from Virginia and stayed at her fucking house. Doesn't sound like I'm that furious does it, but oh I was. So after breaking up I didn't talk to him for 3 months. I deleted him from facebook, myspace, aim, my contacts list in my phone. Anything that I could do to completely cut off communication. After the 3 months we tried being friends. it was too hard for me though; I loved him. I continued having sex with him for A YEAR after being broken up, thinkinkg maybe he'd take me back. It's not worth it girls! Guys are seriously fucked up, and it will take you ice ages to meet a decent guy.
So blah blah whatever, that was my relationship. And now I feel so stupid to have thought that I was in love with him. My mom tried telling me, my older sister, but I was naive and I didn't want to listen.
I have grown up a lot since my freshman year. I know what's real and what's not real. Now it's time to get back to Vicky and Jordan.
So they both think they're in love, and i can tell you that they are not. I would never tell that to their faces, because I know that neither of them will listen to me and nothing productive will come of it. But that's why I'm blogging about it, so that when they break up one day I can show this to Vicky.
Why don't I think they make a good couple?
Well first of all, I think there is a slight possibility that Jordan could love Vicky. Vicky is a very, very good girlfriend. She would do anything for Jordan. But I do not think that Vicky is in love with Jordan. Previous to dating Jordan, Vicky dated 2 other guys. Both relationships lasted less than 3 months. All of her relationships are within the spand of one year. She never dated boys in high school.
So it would be correct to assume she does not have very much experience dating boys.
But that's not even the point of this blog. The main point of this is to mention the reasons I don't think they make a good couple.
This is why...
Jordan is too protective and insecure. He doesn't let Vicky have fun with her life, yet he manipulates her into thinking that she doesn't need the things she used to.
For example, upon beginning college Vicky began to drink alcohol. Not a lot, just socially. She had fun going out and drinking with her friends. In the meantime she wasn't doing well in school. The two can very well be linked together, but I go out on weekends and I am doing very well in my first semester of college. So I tend to think that the bad grades could have been prevented while still maintaining a social life.
Jordan is a police cadet, and he is very manipulative. He follows the rules and laws and he's a goody two shoes. So now he's in the picture and he doesn't want Vicky going out to parties anymore. He doesn't want her participating in underage drinking.
Ok, so be it? Very good point, underage drinking is illegal and if you wish not to participate then fine, you're not forced to.
Vicky stopped drinking and going out. That's not a problem at all in my eyes. If she doesn't want to then she doesn't have to. But did she stop for the right reasons?
The answer to that, no. upon questioning her she will tell you that she doesn't go to parties or drink anymore because she was failing college, she wasn't getting good grades and that she doesn't need to drink alcohol to have a good time.
Very true, good point, but you're a fucking liar and yes I'm calling you out. You can blame it on whatever you want to but I know you. You enjoyed going out and having a fun time, you liked seeing your friends. Even if you didn't drink you would still go out just to have a good time. So don't blame it on something it's not, I know Jordan is the reason you don't go out.
Even now when I try to invite Vicky out to parties, I inform her that there will be no pressure to drink alcohol and that it would just be nice if she came along. But instead she'd rather stay at the dorm and wait for Jordan to get of work. It pisses me the fuck off.
Another example. I want to go to Bourbon Street, which is a club in Baltimore, with my other cousin Kelly and Vicky. Vicky won't go though because...
dun dun dun
Jordan doesn't like it when she goes to clubs where other guys will want to dance with her.
Grow the fuck up.
TO BE CONTINUED...
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